


Too Little Too Late

by lemotmo



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Angsty Schmoop, M/M, Mutual Pining, pining Buck, pining eddie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-07-20
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:15:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25389634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemotmo/pseuds/lemotmo
Summary: Today was the day that Eddie Diaz would come clean, because he couldn’t do it. Buck meeting Amber and falling for her head over heels had been hard on him, but Buck had just asked him to be his best man, to proudly stand up next to him as he vowed to belong to another. This was not something Eddie could do.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 14
Kudos: 171





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, I was in the middle of writing my WIP about 'Buddie in space' when I felt the need to write something completely different, which I then proceeded to do.
> 
> (Don't worry, the next chapter of that 'Buddie in space' WIP is fully written. I just need to edit it and then I'll post sometime this week.)
> 
> This fic is fueled by the memories of a gazillion rom-coms. I just wanted to write something angsty and fluffy at the same time. And of course I wanted lots of pining, since I love some good old pining in fics.

“I can’t.”

Buck abruptly stopped talking. His confused eyes settled on Eddie. “What?”

“I can’t,” Eddie repeated, a little louder this time.

“What—what are you talking about? You can’t what?” Buck asked.

“Just— don’t marry her,” Eddie finally muttered, closing his eyes in utter shame and embarrassment. For 3 years now he had held tight onto his emotions, burying them deep inside his heart as some kind of fucked up personal Ford Knox. But no more. Today was the day that Eddie Diaz would come clean, because he couldn’t do it. Buck meeting Amber and falling for her head over heels had been hard on him, but Buck had just asked him to be his best man, to proudly stand up next to him as he vowed to belong to another. This was not something Eddie could do. The penultimate had been reached. It had happened—Ford Knox had finally been breached.

“Eddie,” Buck gently asked, “what do you mean? Why would you say that?”

Eddie could hear the hurt in his voice. And God—that is just about the last thing that he wanted. He had never wanted to hurt Buck. But this was slowly killing him inside and he needed to get out before he reached the point of no return.

“Eddie?”

“Yeah, I know—” Eddie finally found the courage to look up and met Buck’s eyes. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. Just forget I said anything at all,” he said, pasting on a fake smile he knew Buck would see right through.

“No,” Buck replied, “I don’t want to forget. I want to know why you suddenly seem so against me and Amber getting married.”

“It has nothing to do with you—or Amber for that. She is a wonderful woman. I just—I can’t do it Buck. I can’t stand next to you and be your best man. I’m sorry—I’m just— you know what? I’m going to leave now.”

Before he could turn and walk out the door, Buck caught his wrist. There were tears in his eyes. “Eddie?” He swallowed heavily as if he was afraid to go on. “Tell me why?”

Eddie looked at him, defeated now. “What does it matter Buck? Whatever I say is not going to change anything. It won’t change the way I feel and it certainly won’t change the way you feel. So— Just let it go— let _me_ go. Ask Chim to be your best man or something. For you? He’d do it in a heartbeat. Believe me, this way it’ll be better for everyone.”

“What do you mean? How do you feel then?” Buck persisted, still holding on to his wrist and ignoring the rest of Eddie’s monologue.

And Eddie really hadn’t thought this through, had he? He knew Buck better than he knew himself and he realised too late that he could be as stubborn as a mule sometimes, doggedly digging deeper and deeper until he reached the heart of the problem. He was not going to let this go until he had Eddie confessing to it all, which was something that had him scared shitless. Buck was never supposed to find out about his feelings, because it would change things between them. Things always changed when unrequited love happened between friends. The last thing he wanted was to lose Buck’s friendship. Which was something he would probably lose anyway now that he had refused to be his best man.

He brought his free hand up to his face and rubbed his forehead. “Buck—”

“No Eddie, I’m not letting you go before you talk to me. This isn’t like you at all. What’s going on?”

“I don’t need your permission to leave,” Eddie spit out, angry with himself and why he couldn’t have just sucked up his emotions like his dad had always told him to do. It would have made all of this so much easier.

“You’re right,” Buck said, sad watery eyes now fixed on him. He released Eddie’s wrist. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking. It’s just—for a moment there I thought that you were—” he swallowed heavily, “that you didn’t want to be my best man because— oh, forget it,” he muttered and turned around.

“Because what?” Eddie asked, his interest piqued by Buck’s odd choice of words. He knew that he could just walk out the door right now, but there had been something in Buck’s eyes and voice that he couldn’t ignore. He could see the man taking a deep breath before he turned back to him.

“I think you know Eddie,” he said, looking completely dejected.

“No, actually I don’t,” Eddie replied. He was so confused as this whole conversation had suddenly taken a very unexpected turn.

“Oh come on!” Buck exploded, his birthmark turning a deep dark red. A visual sign of just how pissed off he was. “What do you want from me Eddie? I’ve followed you around like a goddamn puppy for years now, trying to get some of your attention, hoping for some kind of sign that you felt the same way. Time and time again you made it quite obvious that you didn’t see me in that way, so I backed off. But the moment I decide to move on with someone else, you suddenly get pissed at me for some reason? It doesn’t work like that man. You can’t be angry with someone for finally getting over you and moving on. You just— you can’t!”

Eddie was staring now. He knew it. But he couldn’t help it. “You were trying to get over me?” He asked, his brain still unable to compute the information it had just received. “When were you under me?” He stupidly asked.

Buck rolled his eyes in annoyance. “Don’t act like you didn’t know Eddie. I must have told you a million times how much I loved you. Your usual answer was a grunt and a manly slap on the back, before hightailing it out of there, afraid to catch the bisexual cooties or something. Don’t worry, I finally got the message and backed off, okay? I even put myself out there again to forget about you and then I met Amber. The rest is history.”

Eddie just stood there, still stupidly staring at his best friend, a film reel of Buck’s many _I love you’s_ running through his mind’s eye. And oh—

It was official now. Eddie Diaz was a colossal idiot. All those years of pining for Buck and it seemed like Buck had been pining just as much for him. How did he not see this? How? And now it was too late. Buck had moved on with someone else.

“I didn’t know,” he admitted, desperately trying to stop the tears that were threatening to fall.

“Yeah right.” Buck looked defeated. “Just leave Eddie. I’d like to be alone now.”

Eddie nodded, turned around and walked up to the door. Before he opened it, there was one last thing he wanted to do. Something that he had told Buck a thousand times in his imagination, but was too damn scared of to ever tell him in real life. Now was the time though— he had just lost the love of a lifetime, nothing left to lose.

“I love you,” he quietly admitted, studying the door. “I’ve always loved you, but I realised that I had really fallen hard for you when I got stuck in that pit and was about to drown. I’m sorry that I hurt you in any way. I just—I didn’t know what you were trying to say. You have to believe that—If anything—please believe I never wanted to hurt you. If I had known how you felt, we wouldn’t be standing here today. You would have never had to ask me to be your best man at your wedding to someone else, because I would have already asked you to be my husband. You would have been _mine_ by now.”

Without looking back, he opened the door and stepped out, quietly closing it behind him, unable to contain the tears any longer. He had said what he needed to say. Time to move on now. He took a deep breath and headed down the stairs to reach the exit of Buck’s building. He felt as if a weight had been lifted from his heart. He was finally free now and, in time, he would be okay. His friendship with Buck had taken some beatings before and he was confident that it would be strong enough to withstand even this. He would get through this. He had his son, his friends, his family, his job. He’d be fine.

It was raining lightly when he stepped outside which suited him just fine as it would conceal the tears still rolling down his face. He had walked to Buck’s today, so he put his hands in his pockets to keep them dry and slowly took off in the direction of home.


	2. Chapter 2

He had been walking for some time and was just about to cross the street when--

“EDDIE!”

He abruptly froze, causing a few other people on the pavement to throw annoyed looks in his direction. But Eddie didn’t care, because— was that?

“Buck,” He breathed out, his heart almost beating out of his chest with the implication of why Buck might have followed him out here. Endless possibilities swirled through his head, fuelling his imagination with all kinds of scenarios where Buck would come after him rom-com style to declare his love for him.

“So far for moving on,” he muttered to himself, laughing at his own idiocy while rubbing his eyes, desperately trying to get rid of the evidence that he’d been crying.

“Eddie,” Buck’s voice was close now, right behind him. “Please look at me,” he pleaded.

Eddie could never refuse Buck anything, so he took another deep breath to steel himself and turned to face his friend.

“Oh Eddie,” Buck said, reaching out and using his thumb to gently wipe the tears of Eddie’s cheeks. “I’m sorry. I hate that I made you cry.”

Eddie snorted through his tears. “Yeah well, of the two of us I’ve always been the emotionally constipated one, so maybe all I needed was a good cry to let it all out.”

Buck smiled at that. “Yeah, but it also means that when you do cry it comes from the heart,” he said.

Eddie stopped laughing and looked at his feet. “Yeah, well—when you lose the love of your life that tends to happen I suppose.”

Buck swallowed audibly at that, but didn’t respond.

“Why are you out here Buck? What? Couldn’t you just leave me to lick my wounds in private?” Eddie asked, upset now.

Buck hesitated, but finally said “You got stuck in that pit 3 years ago. That’s a long time Eddie. Why didn’t you tell me?”

The question took Eddie aback. Why hadn’t he told Buck in the first place? It was a solid question. One that definitely needed answers, but Eddie had none.

“I don’t know. I guess—you never asked?” He said. “After a while concealing my feelings for you became a habit and every time that you told me you loved me, I just closed it down, because I knew what I wanted it to mean, but I was also convinced that you would never feel that way about me. That’s why I always reacted so coldly when you confessed your feelings. I didn’t realise you meant it in _that_ way. I’m sorry for that.”

Buck just stood there, motionless, listening to him. “Is that all?” Eddie finally asked, breaking the uneasy silence. “Can I go now?”

“No, I—I just,” Buck started, frustration bleeding through in his voice, “I just wanted to tell you that if you had ever asked me, I would have said yes.”

“What?” Eddie just stared at him dumbly. Was Buck saying what he thought he was saying or was it just wishful thinking again.

Buck smiled shyly. “In fact, I’m pretty sure that if you were to ask me right now, I would still say yes,” he added.

Something short-circuited in Eddie’s brain. Had Buck just—

But he didn’t—

Then why—

“But—Amber,” was all he managed to get out.

“Yeah, I called her the second you left my apartment and I told her everything. I feel like a horrible person for doing this to her and she was understandably pissed off, but oddly enough she didn’t seem to be all that surprised. I wonder why? Long story short, there won’t be a wedding,” Buck said, before softly adding, “I’m not marrying her Eddie.”

Eddie couldn’t believe what he was hearing, so he just stared at Buck as the man started fidgeting, a blush growing on his cheeks.

“Why?” Eddie asked, unable to grasp the implication of what he was hearing.

“Because of you,” Buck admitted. “Because the love of my fucking life just told me that he loves me back and that makes me happier than I’ve ever been before in my life. It’s just— always been _you_. All these years. And now that I finally have a chance with you? I’m not going to be dumb and waste it.”

Eddie just stood there, dumbfounded. Out of the two of them, Buck had always been the biggest risk taker.

“I hope that’s okay,” Buck added, looking a little worried at Eddie’s lack of a proper response.

Eddie had no words left to express the emotions whirling around in his body. From utter relief to pure ecstasy and back again. So he did the next best thing he could think of doing. Something he had been dreaming of doing for years now.

He grabbed Buck’s jacket and pulled him into his orbit, one single goal in mind. Buck didn’t resist, in fact he actively participated and crowded closer until they were plastered together. Eddie lovingly gazed into Buck’s eyes as his fingers traced a path down his face. “I’m sorry,” he quietly murmured, “I love you.”

Buck nodded. “I know now,” he said and bridged the gap between their mouths. Then there were no more words.

They were finally kissing and Eddie felt like he was floating.

This— _this_ was it.

Eddie was home.

(He couldn’t wait to tell Christopher.)

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos or comments are always appreciated. Feel free to leave them. Thank you.
> 
> (PS: If you caught either the blatant 'Friends' reference or the -much more obscure- 'John Hughes 80's movie' reference in this fic, feel free to let me know in a comment.)


End file.
